My mood...

I was thinking tonight about how being bi-polar has affected who I am. I am a very sensitive person, and also think differently that most guys. When I watch The Notebook I don't just cry i bawl, and it affects my mood, making me feel romantic(or sad if I feel like love won't happen to me) for a couple of days.

There are a handful for movies that do that to me to different degrees, but VERY few books have given me that "awwwwww" feeling so bad that I want to cry. That feeling at the end of The Notebook when Noah tells her that their love can do anything; the feeling you get when in that moment you know for a fact that love CAN do anything, and lasts forever as well.

There are a couple of Jane Austin's works that do that for me to some degree, as well as one of my fantasy series written by Elizabeth Haydon (no way a guy could write a book that evokes that emotion besides Nicholas Sparks). A few moments in the Book of Mormon have made me cry, but that was more from feeling the spirit.

Recently I read the book Twilight, and yeah, I cried for sure. I am re-reading right now at a much slower pace to really be able to feel is deeply. This process includes an ipod playlist simply titled "Love." On my second read-through I am 280 pages in, and I find myself drawing odd parallels between Edward and myself. I feel like I think like his character, at least romantically. I have that craving of adventure, like driving fast etc. The one major thing that struck me is when Bella wonders why Edward loves her and he thinks she is so amazingly special. I find myself thinking that about a lot of girls. How amazingly special and beautiful they are in my eye when i see other guys looking at some fake-n-bake blonde that thinks a good read is a maxim article while she is getting her nails done.

Anyway, I'm rambling, but my point is I am really figuring out just how sensitive I am and how my bipolar disorder could be the best thing that ever happened to me.